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Would I normally say,
you know, like, "Oh, I got a genetic test back for alcohol,
and, you know, my tolerance is..."?
I don't know. Like, hopefully I'll be able to write something funny.
You might be more likely to get hit by a bus leaving this place
than to get this particular disease, based on these odds.
I know that a lot of comedians sit down and write.
You know, they'll say,
"I'm taking two hours today to go to the pub and write."
And I'm not knocking that.
That might be a great way to do things, but I can't do that.
I cannot. Even in school, if I had to write an essay,
I could not do it until it was, you know, go time,
until it was like an hour before it was due.
I need pressure.
When I made the first round
of the "Britain's Funniest Women" thing,
I invited -- I kind of was like,
"Um, if you want to come to the Semifinals, you can."
And nobody came! And then I won that.
And then when I went into the final Finals, I'm like,
"Um, if anybody wants to come to the Final," --
Well, I came to the Semifinals.
-Yeah, there was a bunch of people. -Yeah, you did!
She's an amazing woman. She's my best friend.
She is^I way^I too good-looking and talented for me.
But don't tell her that.
Wade suggested it to me, and I thought,
"Oh, maybe I could go in that contest." Like, maybe I could do okay.
But never -- but the women in it -- the girls, I should say,
because I don't like being called a woman --
the girls were so funny and so talented,
like, they were so good.
As far as my DNA results
and how I'm going to incorporate those into comedy,
I don't know. Like, that's gonna be forced.
It's probably not going to be very funny at all.
-I don't know. We'll see. -Yeah.
Yeah.
Katherine Ryan is someone special from Canada.
Thank you. That means I'm retarded.
I am from Canada, you will learn --
Yay! Are you from Canada? You just like Canadians.
I'll change that.
I am pregnant. Yay! Thank you.
That's the same reaction my parents had.
I try to suck it in, because I also look so young and fresh.
I don't want to be mistaken for Juno, from the movie.
When I'm on stage -- when I started doing comedy,
I would just be like,
I would write jokes that I thought were kind of funny,
but I would just say them in my normal voice like I do know.
But it came off as bitchy.
Like, everyone was like, "You're a bitch!"
And so I just developed being like a little bit cuter.
I actually got to shoot a documentary recently
about genetics and genetic testing.
Are we on board with this?
You know, genetics -- It's a little scary, yeah.
They tested my entire genome.
You do want to know a little bit,
but there's controversy, like you said.
How do people get scared?
I don't understand that.
Maybe it's because I'm a heartless wench.
I don't get the controversy. This fear of information.
You know, do you get nervous?
I don't get nervous anymore, no.
I used to get really nervous, but now it's just like...
It's almost like the same mindset of the DNA testing.
It's like, well, what's the worst thing that could happen?
And they look at your traits, too,
like your ancestry where you came from,
things like baldness, which I don't have.
The cancer will do it. So...
No, and in my traits they can test for resistance.
Some people have this innate resistance to certain diseases.
I am not resistant to malaria, norovirus, or AIDS.
That what it says.
"You are not resistant: malaria, norovirus, and AIDS."
There goes my holiday deposit.
The girls and I were really looking forward to that needle safari.
No, but nobody heckles me. Nobody ever heckles me.
I can't understand you,
but I will choke you with this microphone.
I'm Katherine Ryan. Thank you very much. Good night.
Thank you, Katherine. Thanks very much. Brilliant.
There were quite a lot of problems with the DNA testing.
I was dealing with quite a lot of small companies,
some of whom weren't very good at communicating with me,
so I got some very misleading information.
Ooh! If there was a gay gene, which there is...